Those Nasty Little Fluffers
by Ms Q
Summary: Xander confronts Anya about her irrational fear of bunny rabbits. Or is it irrational? One shot.


"Those Nasty Little Fluffers"

by MsQuey

Of course Xander knew the Easter Bunny wasn't real.

He couldn't help that it was his favorite holiday. His family was never very religious—okay, Ozzy was more religious, but it was the only holiday his parents couldn't really screw up. At least not completely. Every year when he was a child, on the night before Easter, Xander would paint about a dozen eggs that his mother had hardboiled while arguing with his dad…. And since it was a holiday, his parents would get drunk and hide them out in the back yard so that he could find them the next morning. Xander would happily eat the eggs he could find and watch cartoons, thankful that his parents were sleeping off their hangovers.

"But that doesn't mean I have to participate in your sadistic, Christian holiday!" Anya exclaimed as she distractedly counted the money in the till for the fifth time.

Giles looked up from the book he was reading at the table. "Actually, Easter is rooted in pagan lore and rituals. It celebrated rebirth and fertility. Some ancients even revered rabbits."

Anya slammed the cash register shut and breezed past the men to the candle table. "Hello, you're talking to one of those ancients," she said as she separated the ritual candles from the standard light-giving ones. "Don't you think I know that?"

Xander approached the love of his life and took the candle from her hand. "Then what's the problem, An?"

Anya snatched the candle back from him. "You know that freaking holiday is full bunnies. And you know that I _can't stand_ bunnies!"

"But they're just bunnies! Cute, fluffy animals with twitchy noses," he said wiggling his own nose and bucking out his teeth in a sorry imitation of one.

"Xander," she said, clearly reaching her boiling point. "I. Hate. Bunnies." Xander opened his mouth to protest. "_And that means no Easter!_"

Giles gave Xander a sympathetic look as Anya stomped into the back room of the shop.

"But I love Easter," he said dejectedly as he sank down into a chair across from Giles.

"I'm sorry, Xander. There are other holidays to look forward to."

"Yeah. But Easter was mine."

Suddenly the entrance bell on the front door to the shop jingled and in shot Buffy, as if running for her very life.

"Oh, my god. Ohmigod. Ohmigod. Ohmigod." She leaned against the door as if to make sure that nothing would get in behind her. As Xander and Giles recovered from their confusion at her sudden and hysterical entrance they noticed that her odd, yet strangely fashionable clothing was singed in various places, there were bits of ash in her hair and her face was streaked with soot.

"Good Heavens, what happened Buffy?" Giles asked. Both men slowly and tentatively approached her.

"Are you two the only ones in the shop?" She asked, ignoring his question.

"No, Anya's in the back," Xander answered. "What happened?"

From outside the shop they could hear distant screams and more than one emergency vehicle. "Um, it's still kinda happening." And added to the screams and sirens came a series of violent rumblings which shook some of the more precariously shelved merchandise onto the floor.

"So, we're having an earthquake. Big deal!" It was California after all.

"Are we having an earthquake?" It was Anya, coming out from the back. "Great! More merchandise that I'll have to write off."

"It's not an earthquake!" Buffy grabbed Giles and Xander by the arms and dragged them away from the door. "Take Anya and get out of here." She pulled a sword out from behind the counter. The rumblings became more pronounced and—larger. "Go now! Warn the rest on your way out of town."

"Warn them about what?"

"Yes, what is happening!" Giles added to Xander's confused question.

Anya's perturbed face transformed into a look of horror as she looked out the window and screamed, "BUNNY!"

* * *

The dust settled revealing three gasping and bewildered figures climbing out of the rubble that _was _The Magic Box. Buffy stood in front of it all looking exhausted with her bloodied sword hanging by her side. At her feet was the corpse of a giant bunny rabbit. It must have been thirty feet long and weigh a ton if an ounce.

Giles was the first to recover his wits and said in amazement, "It was a giant… fire-breathing rabbit."

Anya pushed a hunk of drywall off of her chest. "Now do you see why I'm afraid of those nasty little fluffers?"

Xander didn't even bother to sit up. "I'll never question your quirks again, dear."

THE END


End file.
